Umbrella etiquette

I don't mind the rain. Even when I'm commuting, it's only the rare rainstorm that annoys me. But other people's misuse of their umbrellas can drive me crazy! There are two very simple rules I'm shocked require restating:

First, if it's not raining, don't use your umbrella. This includes (a) when it was recently raining but has since stopped, as well as (b) when it's snowing. Umbrellas are for rain. Period.

And second, unless you are actually golfing on a golf course, you do not need a golf umbrella. These enormous things take up the entire width of a sidewalk, push other people out of the way, and are invariably carried by little tiny people. They poke normal sized people with normal sized umbrellas in the eye, because no one who is rude enough to carry the golf umbrella is polite enough to lift it out of the way of the level of the other umbrellas.

This morning, when it wasn't raining, a tiny little man with a giant umbrella ran me off the sidewalk. I was reasonably proud of myself for not grabbing his umbrella and smashing it on the street.