Friday, January 29, 2010

Why I'm anti-radio

I don't listen to the radio much, except for NPR. Once upon a time I did, but pop music left me behind when it turned into hip hop. For some reason, though, I do listen to the radio instead of CDs during the occasional drive. And my drive on Wednesday evening reminded me of The Top Five Reasons Why Radio Sucks:

5. Country music apparently makes me go all emo. Be honest - no one needs that.

4. Commercials are all louder than the songs. And inexplicably, all stations play them at the same time, leaving the listener no escape.

3. I only ever hear about the last three seconds of any decent song. It either ends as I find the station, or I drive out of range.

2. The shitty options leave me pondering things like which is likely to be the cheesiest: something by Journey, a song from Peter Cetera's unremarkable solo career or any random pop duet. Seriously, is there a single duet in the history of pop music that isn't 100% terrible? And why must my neurons spend precious processing on this conundrum?

1. "Mony Mony." That song is only liked by 12-year-old kids who think that shouting the dirty line out at school dances is hilarious. And it's like six and a half minutes long, and only has eleven words. Two of which are "mony". Which is not even a word, let alone two words.

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