Back to Work

Tuesday was my first day back in the office. I had a real mixed bag of feelings about it. Happy about being back in my professional life, sad to leave the Bug every morning, unsure if I still want to commute into NYC for my job every day. I think these feelings will continue to evolve in the coming days and weeks, but here's a summary of my initial reactions:

The Good: Everybody in my office (with the exception of my direct boss) missed me. People were really glad to see me. That feels good. But perhaps more importantly, my company's had a great few months while I've been out. We're currently viewed as the leader in enterprise social media solutions, with perhaps one legitimate competitor. Beyond our great market perception - and what really makes me excited - is that the market itself has finally shown that it's ready for what we offer. It's really a great time for me to come back and I'm excited to get back out into the media world and do some business.

The Bad: I really miss the Bug. The first day was hard; I teared up when I was giving her her morning bottle. The second day just about broke my heart. I didn't want to leave at all. I really do believe that it's the best thing for our little family - for me, for the Bug, for my husband, and for us as a unit - to have me back at work and the Bug at her fabulous babysitter. But an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening don't add up to nearly as much time as I want to spend with my little baby.

The Ugly: While I was out, all of my accounts were transferred to my colleagues. Under my name in the sales database, there were a handful of dead deals. No one covered for me - they simply absorbed everything. My boss told me yesterday that I need to name any account I want to be in my territory, but that's not how the game should be played. Now I've either got to fight for things that I want returned, or to identify completely new accounts out there. You hear the stories of women returning after a maternity leave to find their jobs have been stripped away from them, and I felt it had happened to me. I'm hoping that this will work out nicely, but no guarantees yet.

Anyway, three months is a pretty short time to be out. By the time you've finally figured out what to do with a baby, it's back to the office and an entirely new situation. I'm not really sure what the ideal solution might be, but I'm pretty sure this is not it.