Thursday, August 9, 2007

Aspirin, Boku-maru and martinis

I'm two months into a three-month, unpaid maternity leave. More later on just how wrong that really is.

My little Bug was born Memorial Day weekend. She is beautiful - I know, everybody says that, but she actually started out gorgeous - and very smiley. I really like her, and I love her, and I am very excited to see what kind of a person she becomes. Early indications are all very positive.

The first month was rough. I did not know what I was getting myself into. I guess I thought that since my husband and I are both very capable and laid back people, we would get the hang of parenthood right off the bat. I was a little bit mistaken. Bug cried a lot, probably because I had no clue what to do with her, or for her. I was really tired, and my bosoms were killing me from my early misadventures in breastfeeding.

The worst thing about the very first weeks is that motherhood is very isolating. I went from a very demanding, fun and high-energy existence, to entire days where all I accomplished was feeding the baby. I missed talking to adults, I didn't feel like I was getting anything done, and I resented all of the normal lives continuing around me. The baby doesn't even smile for about 5 weeks, so there's no feedback to indicate whether even that job is well done. And to top it all off, when you're breastfeeding you can't drink. For months I had been longing for a glass of gin like I had never longed before. And could I enjoy that delicious martini? Let it take the edge off? No. Hell no. That sucked. Crumpling to the floor in tears because the baby wouldn't stop crying (oh I get the irony there), and unable to have a tasty cocktail.

But ultimately I stumbled through those first weeks. And every day, Bug gets easier and more fun to take care of. Plus, the martinis await (although after this much time, I think I am probably looking at martini rather than martinis).

I intend this blog to document the entertaining mistakes of the first-time mommy, as well as random observations on literature, current events or pop culture, and really anything else that comes to mind. So rather than recount the past couple of months in excruciating (and boring) detail, let me begin today and we will experience life together. My life, that is, from here on out.

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